this is not good....

i am truly heartbroken right now! i just found out, yes at 1:30am i found out that one of my favorite bands is breaking up!!! and when i say favorite i mean all time top 5 list favorite! soooo sad at this moment! when i read it i felt my heart cry! lol cheesy! no but really i am bummed! i now know i will be gettin a xdeathstarx tattoo! R.I.P xdeathstarx :(

im a mess like always... who wrote this dang poem?

i am layin in bed and its almost 5am, i cant sleep, THE NIGHTS HARD TO GET THROUGH WITH NO ONE IN UR BED! i am so uneasy right now, im so lost feelin, so not sure about so much! i miss my DAD and my brother and stepmom and sisters!! its becoming overwellming! i miss close friends! i miss feeling truly loved! i need God so much right now! i hate these bursts of whatever this is!!! ahhhhhhhhh!!!! i want off the wild rollercoaster!

oh yay... its valentines... shut up!!!

so vday is tomorrow! and again i have no valentines! its all good though! im gonna try my hardest to not be all bummed out about it, i proly will sit at home alone tomorrow! both my roomates have big plans with girls, and i dont! lol i would like to not be alone thats forsure but i dont need a valentines! ohwell we will see what goes down! till tomorrow!

what happened?

i feel like im losing a friend that i hold so dear to my heart and i dont know what to do! my heart hurts alot right now!

keep on truckin...

i feel like im stuck in this wierd time warp where i cant get outta the funk thats tearing my life down! it seems like right when things start lookin up it all goes to crap again! i just gotta stay strong in my walk with God and keep on truckin!

makes my heart hurt

so my dearest friend is not doin so well, shes down and out about a ton of stuff, and i see how sad she is lately! it rips my heart to peices that i cant make her happy! that i cant make it all just go away! i am tryin to be the best friend i can be through all this by makin sure she knows im here for her if she wants to talk, and not preaching at her! it worries me cause i havent heard a word from her since last night she and i were texin and i could tell she was pretty bummed cause she wasnt really talkin! its got me all anxious cause im scared for her, im sad my friend isnt happy!!! i love her soooo much!!!

sick as a dog ....ruff

so its been a good few days since my last post! a few things have happened! my band played a show last thursday! it was pretty cool! we are plannin on playin many more as soon as possible! got to hang out with johnni yesterday! that was good times, it had been a week since we had chilled! she a busy one now! i woke up this mornin sicker than heck! i knew it was comin, but it hit me hard! i have literally been in bed feelin like i was dyin all day! johnni called me to tell me some things to do to try and get better! it helped alot! i really feel crappy so not in the mood to write a ton! so untill next time!